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Sunday, September 21, 2008

Republican Jokes aren't Republican anymore

A loved family member of mine sent me this joke recently: (in defense this person is not a republicat, either!)
Why My Liberal Friends Don't Like Me I was talking to a friend of mine's little girl the other day. I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up and she replied, 'I want to be President!' Both of her parents are liberal Democrats and were standing there. So then I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'I'd give houses to all the homeless people.' 'Wow - what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'You don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where this homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward a new house.' Since she is only 6, she thought that over for a few seconds. While her Mom glared at me, she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?' And I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.' Her folks still aren't talking to me.
Then I replied with the following:
Aye, reminds me of another one of those. There was a rich republican whose daughter had been going to a prominent university for the last four years. The father and daughter normally couldn't talk politics as the daughter had bought into the liberal propaganda her professors and teachers had sold her over the years. One evening the daughter was over for a visit and the Dad asked her how things were going at school. She said she was doing great, and was running with a 4.0 gpa. All the nights of studying were really paying off. Her Dad asked her about her best friend that was also attending the university. She told her Dad that it wasn't going very well for her. Her friend had been out partying and visiting with friends, goof-ing off and would only cram last moment for her finals. Her friend had a 2.0 GPA, but it was her own fault. The Dad suggested to his daughter that she go to the dean and work out a deal to give her friend a point off her own GPA, then they'd both have a 3.0 GPA to help her friend out. His daughter responded haughtily that it was a terrible idea. She had earned her grade and it would be wrong to give her friend something that she had sacrificed to obtain out of goodwill. Her father smiled and nodded at her as he said, "Welcome to the Republican Party." The only problem with either of these two jokes is that The Republican Party is just as happy to take our money at gunpoint and spend it via the federal budget as the Democratic Party is. There was a time when the Republican Party may have stood for letting people keep what they worked for, but that time isn't now. Today's Republican Party is centrist, it is no longer conservative. To go conservative you have to opt for either the Constitution or Libertarian Party. Those two parties are the only ones that will return this country's federal government back to it's Constitutional limits and return the money it is stealing from us for all the un-Constitutional, illegal, socialist and special-interest projects it has seen fit to create since Thomas Jefferson left office. The punch line should read - "Welcome to the Constitution/Libertarian Parties."
....and I'm not kidding... there are no Constitutional Conservatives left in the Republican party, except for the registered voters. :(

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